They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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