I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
