You can't motorboat a personality
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
