Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
