Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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