we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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