Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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