hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
