Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
