Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
BRING THE BAGELS
Two words: blizzard sex
How does one acquire holy water?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
