he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize