neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
