i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
