So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
