I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
