I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
