He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
