I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
