Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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