gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
