forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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