just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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