worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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