rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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