We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
