guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
