there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
