haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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