i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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