ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
