Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
