My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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