My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
