Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
