They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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