think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize