Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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