The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
