Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize