Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
