everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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