I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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