My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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