is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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