she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Did I show you my penis last night?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A bitchslap is in order.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
