Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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