By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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