I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
