hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize