I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just want to make out with him forever
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Enjoy the penises
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
