I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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