I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
