You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
