Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
