Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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