it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
