Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
