No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
