I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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